How to Approach Dominants and Submissives with Respect

By MissBlakely 521 views 11th Aug 2025

BDSM Tips For Sellers How to Approach Dominants and Submissives with Respect

When being active in the BDSM scene it is important to ensure you are approaching others with respect. Whether you are a Dominant or a Submissive – there is a right and a wrong way to approach others. Whether you are simply seeking out an item for your own personal kinks and fetish hunger or looking for a D/S relationship, manners are key.

Some people make it very simple for you with the name they put out to the word; Miss, Mistress, Goddess, Domina, Alpha, Daddy, Mommy, Sir – the list goes on. It is important that if you have seen these honorifics to use them when engaging in contact with these Dominants. Honorifics are how you convey respect. You will not get far if you are in the mind set that Dominants are here to be your personal kink dispensers. A true Dominant demands respect from others and submissives whether they have never met before, or are coming back for further engagement.

When approaching a Dominant, whether you know their honorifics or not – start with a simple Hello Mistress or Hello Sir. This will gain you a foot holding with them because you are showing respect right from the beginning. If you start a conversation off with someone being rude because your kink is to be humiliated and this is how you believe it will be satisfied with no true engagement with the other person it shows your immaturity and lack of respect for the person and boundaries.

That being said, a Dominant should not engage in a humiliation scene without setting boundaries, gaining consent, having a safe word or by using the traffic light system. Yes, the person may have approached you and made it very obvious they want to be talked down too and humiliated, but that does not mean that is how you should engage with them immediately. You can advertise your mood and your approach to the craft on feeds very easily, this is what likely has enticed someone to approach in the first place. But this does not mean that you need to hand out your skills for free.

Submissives deserve to also be treated with respect. Let’s say that again a little louder for the people in the back. Just because someone has a humiliation kink or has a fetish that they think should be made fun of does not mean as a Dominant that you proceed to do this without consent. When you have someone start a conversation with you, showing you respect, you should engage with them in the same manner.

Talk to each other like human beings, we all deserve that. If you are a Findom and have advertised that people need to tribute before beginning a conversation, sometimes you may need to reiterate that. A simple reminder, without inadvertently engaging in a scene prior to consent is easy. You can be firm and to the point without being degrading when you are not even clear that someone is ok with this kink.

Being direct and to the point without compromising your integrity as the Dominant is something that needs to be practiced more regularly. It is surprising how easy it is to slip into a scene without setting a foundation and safety and using a word that is very triggering for someone causing them to disappear into a sub drop and not being given appropriate aftercare.

Being a part of the BDSM community begins and ends with safety and a large part of that is boundaries and respect for others.

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By MissBlakely

I am a hard working nurse, mom, and coach who enjoys a good workout by day - I have many hobbies and interests. In my ‘taboo’ life I’m Femdom/Findom with...

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Comments

Icarus75 @MissBlakely Sadly seems to be something that gets missed these days... Almost feels like the scene 30 years ago is back... And don't get me started on aftercare (and yes, that very much applies to all parties) 😅

MissBlakely @Icarus75 I’m so happy to see someone bring up RACK/SSC/PRICK

LeeTheBoneRanger Awesome skills. Respect❤️

Icarus75 Well written and should be mandatory reading for all. Granted, it's not just in the BDSM world that this applies, but there seem to be more and more in those spaces that forget that not only are all players still people, but also the absolute need for respect. There's been a (relatively) recent push (again) on RACK / SSC / PRICK around the traps, but oddly enough, respect (on both sides) seems to have missed the boat...

NightfallNinja This is a great blog good work 🥰🥰 I've seen a few dommes trying to steal subs but on the other hand have seen subs contacting other dommes when they aren't allowed to so this blog is great at teaching others the way of the domme/sub

TheFetishPrincess_Of_Sweets Nice blog

Goddess_sjc I got called a name for being nice to a sub once and had to explain that a conversation needs to be had first as not all subs are the same. This is a brilliant blog and helpful to so many

QueerQueenKat Thank you writing this important reminder for everyone. We are all people and regardless of our kinks, we deserve to be approached with respect and cared for properly

Goddeesse_Gabrielle Perfectly said, nothing else to add ! Hope everyone will take the time to read you !

Alexuspeachx Very nicely written 🫶🏻

CandyGoddessfootsub so accurate in your writing you are a conissour in the BDSM world, this blog is so informative. Thank you so much for sharing. humbly kneeling before you

Kinsleys_Sweet_Starfish Commenting so I can go read later:) thank uuu for the info🖤🖤

BiancaMoore An amazing write 👏🏻👏🏻

Phasic Respect, boundaries and understanding is so important and often sadly missed by my male dominant peers. Something I have found many to be a very pleasant surprise when I engage with manners as a dominant. This was a nice read and I emplore all to take it all in

GoddesEliaxoxo Great piece of writing 💕✨

UkGuy83 @MissBlakely You're welcome

MissBlakely @UkGuy83 A masterclass in ethical kink - what a profound compliment. Thank you for reading it and I’m glad it resonated with you 💕

MistressMILFS_BigKnickers Taking everything on board mutual respect is everything for a successful DomSub relationship 🙏🏻

UkGuy83 This is an absolutely outstanding piece of writing. It should be required reading for every single person who joins this platform. What makes this so powerful is that you've laid out the responsibilities for BOTH sides of the dynamic with such clarity and wisdom. You're not just telling submissives how to be respectful; you're reminding Dominants of their profound duty of care. Your final line says it all: "Being a part of the BDSM community begins and ends with safety." That is the absolute, non-negotiable truth. As a patron, a post like this is an incredible gift. It provides a clear, professional, and safe framework for engagement, which gives good buyers the confidence to explore and connect respectfully. This isn't just a post; it's a masterclass in ethical kink. Thank you for taking the time to share your expertise with the community.